The Pain of Paying (and Why It Might Be a Good Thing)

Businesses have figured out how to anesthetize that pain or paying

Our bodies are wired for survival. Touch something hot and your hand jerks back before your brain even registers what happened. That lightning-fast reflex protects you from harm. In a way, our wallets used to have a similar reflex — that moment of hesitation before parting with money. Psychologists call it the pain of paying, and it's not just a metaphor. It's a real emotional response in the brain, one that can actually help us make better financial decisions.

But in today’s world, businesses have figured out how to anesthetize that pain. Tap your phone. Tap your watch. Buy with one click. Set it and forget it with a subscription. Split it across six easy payments with no interest (until it is). Every innovation is carefully designed to do one thing: numb the sting so you’ll spend more.

But here’s the thing — pain isn’t always bad. Sometimes it’s your body (or bank account) saying: “Hey, maybe think twice before buying that”

The pain of paying is a pause button — a way to stay engaged and intentional with our spending. And while it can help us pump the brakes, it can also help us plan ahead for the things we truly value.

Take travel, for instance. When I go on vacation, I want to feel light and free — not reminded at every café, cab ride, or gelato stand that my credit card is crying in my pocket. So I pay for as much as I can in advance and clear it off before I leave. That way, the trip feels like a gift I already gave myself. I even have my husband swipe the card while we’re away — even though it’s our joint card and I’m tracking everything anyway. (Psychological trick? Absolutely. Effective? Also yes.)

The point isn’t to avoid paying. It’s to engage with paying — in the moments where it matters most.

So here’s your pain-of-paying homework:

• Turn off auto-renew on all apps and subscriptions.

• Delete saved credit cards from shopping apps.

• Ditch one-click ordering.

• Remove tap from your phone and watch

• Temporarily “misplace” your digital wallet.

Be present. Be intentional. Make sure every dollar you spend aligns with your values — not just your impulses. Because when you feel the pain, you also feel the power to choose differently next time.

And remember: any company telling you they're making it easier to spend is usually making it harder for you to save.